Day 10

The Date... The Date. The danger of microphones, hidden microphones, able to hear everything I did, I did with Julia, the dark-haired girl. Was she on to me? I told her my thoughts, my thought-crimes, on her... a spy, a murderer, a stalker, my next victim. She is observant, able to pick out those that do not belong... How was that? Why was that? She knew I was against them... How? She had to be on to me of some way. She was so careful of someone watching, we had to commit the political act in the bough, the "secret" bough. Oh how good it felt, how amazing she was... The more men she had, the more fun I got out of it... With those of other Party members... Why was that? 15 years younger than I was... Why? Purity, goodness... all too fake, all too unreal. Everyone is supposed to be corrupt to the marrow of their own bones! She had flaws, even for the perfection she is... The battle I fought, the act I have committed, the dream of the past, has become my action.