Day 24

I am back at this Chestnut Tree... Africa in its struggles. The telescreens, how I had awaited for the Bullitens. Julia, oh Julia, how I missed her so... But were we meant to be forever? We only talked for so much, but yet so little. She betrayed me, I betrayed her. She was my mirror. Two plus Two always equals five. Oh Mother... The memory of Mother, of the past. Snakes and Ladders. Laughter, with the sister. Laughter with my mother. Myself enjoying laughter. The family together... My struggles were complete. My journey was complete... "With my clean freedom, it shall lift my sorrows, my bottle, never empty, for it will be my gin. With this mind, it shall light my way in darkness. With the poster of Big Brother and the telescreens, I ask you to be mine."

Day 23

This entire time, I was in a building. A building of pure punishment and cells, with no windows.
What was in Room 101? O'Brien, his pure torture. He says I already knew what was inside this torture room... Rats. Full grown rats, with enormous muzzles and brown fur instead of gray. The ancient Chinese torture... Why? A body replacement, a body of escape... Julia. Julia! I was able to let go of everything, to let go of Julia, for my own safety! What selfishness... Pure selfishness. I am part of pure society... This is my own route... to cleanliness.

Day 22

My arms, my thighs, my body, they grow fat and muscle! The Party was feeding me, with even meat at every third meal! What is this? Why were they keeping me healthy? They even gave me cigarettes, to feed my need and desire. My desire, a thoughtcrime. They would feed my thoughtcrime? Freedom is slavery, two and two make five, god is power. Everything the Party says is so true. Julia, Julia! Where could she be? Hallucinations they call it, I call it faith. My rebellious thoughts on Big Brother, O'Brien was able to hear me... he sent me to Room 101. They can keep me for another couple of minutes, or another couple of years.

Day 21

O'Brien, a lecture. What have I done to deserve this? His avoidance of the dial, able to turn it up at any given time his heart contents... pure madness. Everything I say is falsified. The logic of science, the history of life, the life outside of memories, all wrong? How could that be? Does two plus two still equal four? The purpose of life, according to O'Brien, is to have power... complete power. I am the last of the human race, is that possible? What happened to Julia? She could not be dead... I did not betray her, I couldn't have! Is this world found only by hatred, with no emotions except fear, rage, triumph, and self-abasement? My reflection, how have I aged... I was in the Party's hands as captive for way too long, beyond too long. I look like I have aged nearly two decades! In the end, I still get shot... The last thing I want, desire, and ask for is to hear the sound of the bang bang.

Day 20

Where am I? I was in a room, an isolated room, on a bed of torture... Pure torture. That switch, of electrical torture... The men in white coats. O'Brien, what was he? Was he part of the Brotherhood? or was he of a high class hierarchy of the Party? He watched me for the past 7 years, and have not said anything. He did not care of my crimes... not my crimes... but my thought-crimes. How did he possess so much power? Did the Brotherhood exist? Did I exist? Did History exist? Did Big Brother exist? Where has common sense gone to... What happened to my dearest Julia? He could not have killed her, he could not have... I suffer for the following days to come, and my journey, comes to a near end.

Day 19

Oh this horror, this darkness... A jail cell, of the Thought-Police. What have I gotten myself into? The telescreen, giving such demanding orders, the sound of boots... The thought of torture, what need to rid. Could I have met my mother? She fit all of the criteria... Ampleforth... this innocent member... Would he have really given up his entire family to avoid 'Room 101'? What is this room anyway? I am so lost, for the thought of the word became a disastrous poison to the mind. Parsons, he too? Of the Brotherhood? So many people I have met have become part of this rebellious club... Was everyone in the Brotherhood? Did everyone think like the Brotherhood? Was everyone the Brotherhood? O'Brien... he got caught. He must have been caught by his telescreen when he turned it "off". I knew it was impossible to turn off the telescreen. My arm, my left arm... I lay on this ground, perceiving myself to be... in oh so much pain.

Day 18

I woke up to that woman's singing... the one outside... Who knew a 50 year old could be oh so beautiful, even with wrinkles and such a body. Everyone was equal, everyone was the same... Why is this not interpreted? We were being watched... By the Thought-Police! The telescreen, it spoke to us, what is going on? Julia, no, the men in black, no the coral! So small, but appeared so large within the glass paperweight... Mr. Charrington, that voice on the telescreen... the Thought Police. He spoke to us through this telescreen, I knew i recognized his voice... Everyone was the enemy... everyone. He looked so old, but was so young... The Thought-Police. I have lost my dear Julia.